But this kind of thinking will only make you feel bitter, regretful and has a tendency to go in circles.
Although it isn’t always easy, it’s much more useful to focus objectively on what the relationship was lacking and how it failed to meet your or your partner’s needs.
[Breakups] can jeopardize one’s health.” This description rings true to me: After the breakup, I felt physically ill, exhausted, and devastated.
It isn’t about deciding who was right and who was wrong, but being realistic about what happened and why.
Tom and I broke up a few weeks before he was due to start medical school. We had known each other since childhood but had been dating for just 10 days before he moved down from Connecticut to Pennsylvania and into my small one-bedroom apartment.
Arguments interrupted even the briefest phone conversations. One afternoon at the end of my workday, eight months after our relationship began, I found myself sitting in my parked car, dialing his number in a moment of panic and confusion. In the nights that followed, I had the dramatic push-pull experience that everyone experiences immediately following a breakup: on top of the world and triumphant in my decision one moment, certain that my ex would come crawling back, confident that I had made the right call, and then suddenly heartbroken, afraid, and completely numb, somehow all simultaneously. I sat by my window and listened to “A Case of You” on repeat. When I spoke to Brian Boutwell, an evolutionary psychologist at St.
Louis University, he gave me some insight into the science behind my sadness.
We’re here to help you sort through how you’re feeling and work out what you want to happen next.