"If I just put my head under water and take a deep breath in, it would all be over," she writes. " "Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading." For anyone who tuned into as an, err, guilty pleasure, it seemed like Hugh's seven gals had a lavishly fun life, but according to Holly they were all actually "vacant," and just "going through the motions." "Everyone thinks that the infamous metal gate was meant to keep people out.
But I grew to feel it was meant to lock me in." Holly said that Hugh, now 89, cultivated a hostile environment in which the women were pitted against each other.
After Hefner contacted her during her trip, informing her she had given him “the worst night of my life” due to her decision to bring a boy – her later boyfriend, illusionist Criss Angel -- into her hotel room, she decided to pull the plug.“I’ve decided I can’t stay any longer.
My feelings aren’t there anymore and I don’t want to fake it,” Madison, now 35, recounts telling Hefner in a phone call.
He said their breakup was caused by his disinterest in getting married and having children.
Hefner would later go on to wed his third wife, Crystal Hefner, in 2012.
I'm really happy with myself and being with my friends." Madison still won't reveal the details behind her split with the Angel.